The Power of Adversity- a path to Empowerment
Doing hard things because you can.
By Jaclyn Fortier

I remember during my first attempt at a boot camp training drill, I could barely run a mile at the fitness test before swearing in, my gut churning with cramps and self-doubt. My recruiter had promised that I could make it through if I kept pushing to my limit and kept coming back again and again. Petty Officer Ledbetter was right, even though I didn’t believe him when we met at the high school job fair earlier that year. I was the last kid in school anyone would expect to join the military, and anyone who knew me back then would agree. Known for late nights, sneaking out with friends, and finding every way possible to skip my math class. A sense of dread would wash over me whenever my teachers asked about my future plans. I was lost in absences and failed math quizzes as my graduation day approached.

Then one late May afternoon, an unexpected fork in my road appeared in front of me. As I was walking the hall towards the common area on my way to lunch, I stumbled upon a table with a Navy flag hung high on the wall behind it. There he was, standing tall with his big smile, wearing pressed whites, a black name plate, colorful metals that told their stories without words, and a feeling that he had been many places.

He waved me over. Wait, I thought to myself, as my feet turned towards his direction, I slowed my steps and thought. I was a “girl.” Why was he waving me over to his recruiting table? I had gone to a small Catholic school for my primary education, where we wore knee-high socks and pressed skirts, and I had now become a bit of a troublemaker at my high school. Trying to fit in to a big school in a new town, the last few years had come at a cost, which sometimes was after-school detention.

But I want to go to many places, in my daydreams since childhood, as I adventured through the woods, building tree forts, climbing every big mossy rock I could find, and dreaming of what it would be like to be on the other side of the world. To live a big life with big dreams, and I wanted to go, go, and go somewhere and everywhere that I could.

Not being exactly fit for duty in all the ways possible, I shrugged within myself and walked over despite my doubts. This very moment becoming the tipping point for my future. Finding that in a five-minute conversation, this determined recruiter had a magical way of making me feel I could do anything I put my mind to, and if it was meant for me, I would find a way to make it through. He encouraged me with a plan to follow. “Determination is nothing without a plan”, he reminded, as he wrote on a scratch pad. My running prescription was just one mile, every other day. Push yourself, then rest, then go at it again. A few sit-ups and pull-up attempts, just keep pushing that edge, resting, and repeat. “Got it”, yes, I got it. “Thank you, Sir”.

There it began. I ran, ran, and ran a little more each week. Sometimes at a turtle pace, with stomach cramps and thoughts rushing through me that I would never make it. Yet each day I showed up. Pulling up a little more each week, with the sit-ups feeling easier to breathe with practice.

Then one day it came: a big envelope with my first-ever airplane ticket, and it was a one-way ticket to Navy boot camp. I will never forget the first day feeling when I got off the bus with just the clothes on my back and met the shipmates I would be training with. From day one, we were a “we”, and I was not alone in my training anymore. My “shipmates” gave me more strength than I could ever give myself. We finished together, we were told. No man, “or girl,” left behind. I was more motivated by this than anything else. Not to be the reason for extra sit-ups or longer late-night watches. This is where our now “we are stronger together” concept began, along with the determination (often in early morning shouts and drills on the grinder) of my Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs). I learned that self-doubt has no chance when you are surrounded by other overcomers who can see your potential before you.

After completing my Navy service, I began traveling the world and living in Asia. Later, I faced a different direction of adversity as a young mother. My education and lived experience became a catalyst for building a depth of inner strength and growing my wisdom branches with a desire to help others through what I overcame.

As my years of psychology and clinical counseling studies accumulated, I became fascinated with the power our minds hold and the impact our belief systems have on our lives. Learning that we all have the capacity to learn and to challenge ourselves deeply, even through our adversities and personal difficulties, and especially through them. We can go beyond our limiting beliefs with a practiced commitment to self-awareness, holding a growth mindset, and finding our edge in challenges and pushing through to the other side to reach our full capacity.

Adversity and overcoming things that are hard for us serve as a blueprint to knowing our inner self more deeply, which can then create an architectural life design from a place of empowerment. We are each EM-POWERED, meaning we hold our own power to become what we desire to become, and our truest versions of ourselves (not what those around us) or society believe we should be. Which is a beautiful way to be alive in this world. When you are living to your own potential, and have a depth of self-relationship and wisdom earned from your personal overcomings.

In my work, we talk about finding your voice and your inner power, which can be valuable tools in strengthening the relationship with yourself and serving as your inner compass to help you move through your life.

If you’re feeling stuck or going through a time of challenge or change and aren’t sure where to start, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can be a key step towards designing your next chapter in your dream life. We are stronger together.

With Gratitude, Everything Changes
Always,
Jaclyn Fortier, LCMHC
Founder @ CCWA
www.carolinacounselingwellness.com
www.jaclynfortier.com